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You beautiful she-devil.

I've tried to fill this emptiness with woman after woman after woman. Quick fixes, countless nights that only leave me a little more lost, missing you just a little bit more and hoping I dodged the "clap".

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All of these women are the same, with their similar catch phrases and my bad taste, obviously. I swear they must all hang out together, collectively agreeing that they "don't know what they want.

You don't know what you want. Or maybe you're 22 and thats how everyone in there 20's feels.

I've gotten over worse and I know that you have moved on. Maybe I "won't" because I want what I can't get, just like you. Shit, my life has been so much better without you in it, my job, my body, my friendships, everything.

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I'm not writing this believing she will read this or can if anyone does. I post this only to help myself knowing I put it out there since I don't want to waste time telling someone I know.

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I'm not looking for a pity letter back either so don't worry about it. I still think about her everyday.

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Today she came into my work. My hands started to shack I as saw her have a conversation with someone else work there. All I could think is I'd wish she'd see my face enough and maybe leave.

I could hardly stand it. It wasn't anger its just the fact on how I feel with myself. I know and understand why we broke up but it doesn't change how much I was hopelessly in love with her.

As I finally thought she was leaving she then sat housewjves front of the store to eat her lunch. I became from my nerves racing around.

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Thankfully I was able to Francosco my break. As I go to set in my car I see she parked close enough she probably my car parked there on her way in.

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All I wanted was for her to leave so I could try to finish my day at work. A few minutes pass and I see her walking back to her car.

She tries to wave at me but I didn't wave back. So of course she walks up to my car since she knows I'm there and tries to talk to me. I hold it together and only say a few words.

She asked if I wanted her to leave me alone. I shock my head yes and thought to myself how she had already left me alone.

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Finally she had left. I let myself think about on my way back from work over why it made me so upset. Aside from leaving me a dark time in my life I just needed someone.

It wasn't because she was the only one there for me as I was injured. I know the relationship was over but that still doesn't change how much I know, love her and wished hopelessly wish she was the one I needed.

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